What I’ve Learned After 25 Years of Cooking Thanksgiving Turkeys

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If you’ve ever stressed over cooking the “perfect” Thanksgiving turkey, you’re in good company. After decades of trial and error, here’s what I’ve learned.

Here’s the honest truth about Thanksgiving turkeys: the perfect one doesn’t exist. I have been cooking professionally and hosting Thanksgiving dinner for 25 years, and I’ve tried literally everything when it comes to cooking turkey. I’ve brined it, deep-fried it, marinated it, bagged it, injected it, dry-rubbed it, butterflied it, smoked it, and stuffed it. I’ve tried Kosher turkeys, organic turkeys, free-range turkeys, and self-basting turkeys.

I once even bought an oil-less outdoor propane turkey fryer called “The Big Easy,” which freed up my oven and actually made a wonderfully crisp-skinned and juicy turkey. (If you want to spend $160 on a large piece of equipment that will likely sit in storage collecting cobwebs 364 days a year, I highly recommend it!)

From all this fussing with turkeys, I’ve come to realize that my turkey will never be perfect.

Let’s face it: turkeys, on their own, just aren’t very good. That’s what gravy and cranberry sauce are for.

As Mary Risley from Tante Marie’s Cooking School humorously points out in the video below (which you should definitely watch, especially if you have any turkey-cooking anxiety), “I have never had an outstanding turkey.”

(Heads up: This video contains some foul language.)

Short of purchasing a special turkey cooker (this is the one I have), it is near impossible to cook a turkey perfectly: the white meat always cooks before the dark meat is done, and the skin on the bottom is never crisp (unless you flip the hot, sputtering bird mid-way through cooking…umm, hard pass!).

So is it really worth it to go to great lengths—brining in big coolers for days in the garage, risking life and limb deep-frying in the driveway, pre-icing the breast of the turkey so it cooks more slowly (I swear, there’s a very respectable cooking magazine that wants you to do this)—to make that be-all-and-end-all turkey?

It’s up to you, but I’m not interested in babysitting my turkey for three days to get only marginally better results at the end.

My advice to you is to keep it simple. Make an easy Thanksgiving turkey recipe (I’m a fan of the dry-brine method), with an over-the-top delicious turkey gravy, a rich stuffing, and some cranberry sauce to go with it. Or, if you really don’t want to stress, go ahead and buy your turkey already roasted!

Serve lots of wine (you’ll find this food and wine pairing guide handy for the holidays) and focus your time and creativity on the side dishes and desserts because that’s what everyone really looks forward to anyway.

Wishing you a happy and stress-free Thanksgiving! ❤️

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